Lost Memories
by Kawaii Janorrel
Summary: Ok... Basicly, Heero has a flash back.. Of Duo killing himself.... How will Heero cope with this? Read to find out! :) Lol...


Lost memories  
By:Janorrel Chan  
*Warning- Angst, Death, and shounen-ai implied (1x2 3x4)*  
|=Someone is speaking  
*=Someone thinking  
++= Flash back  
Okies, enjoy!  
++++++++++++++++  
++Duo was lying in a hospital bed, he looked like he was in pain, Heero ran his finger across his lips and looked at him carefully. He looked so pale, he winced in pain a couple of times, he listened to the sounds that his partner made, and this was one of pure pain, and terror. A small tear dropped from his eyes, as he watched Duo.  
|Is he going to be alright?|  
Everyone was worried, especially Heero, he knew something was very wrong...Duo was NEVER sick, but now he was really ill.  
When the doctor came in, everybody immediately looked up, apart from Heero, who was just looking at Duo.  
|I'm afraid he has caught a fatal illness..|  
Quatre just looked at Duo, then turned back to the doctor  
|Can you cure it? He'll be alright, won't he?|  
The doctor gave a displeaseing look. Heero turned to face him  
|He's going to die...Isn't he..|  
He stared at the doctor.  
|Heero! Why would you say a thing like that?|  
Wufei looked at Heero.  
|I'm afraid he's right, I'm sorry but he IS going to die...|  
Another tear ran down Heeros face.  
|How much time does he have?|  
|About 6, 7 months at most...I'm so sorry..|  
Heero, again stared down at his lover.  
|Well, i'm going to make sure that they're the best few months of his life..|  
Quatre, looked up at Heero,  
|Heero, should we tell Duo?|  
|I think it's only right we should|   
Trowa looked up at Heero  
|Right?|  
|Yes, Besides, he'll already know, but I swear...I'll make sure he never suffers..I'll never leave his side.|  
|Awwww, Heero, that's so nice...|  
They all looked down at Duo, who was still very weak, and could hardly talk.  
|Duo.....I...|  
|Don't I get a hug, Hee-Chan?|  
Heero immeadiatly went to Duo's side and hugged him, they both smiled  
|Ai Shiteru...Duo...|  
|I love you too, Heero, so when are we going home?|++  
  
*Duo.....*  
  
Heero stood on what was a massive cliff, he was thinking about Duo. How could he of let him go? He had so many fond memories of him... His chestnut hair, that always smelled of that strawberry shampoo he always used, the way he always smiled , and was happy in any situation. He couldn't beleive Duo was gone, he watched the waves, as they splashed up on the side of the cliff, and thought of Duo. Heero then, went back to the safe house, his mind still in agony over Duo's death.  
  
|Hey, Heero!|  
Heero, was so distant lately, it'd been 9 weeks now, and he hadn't gotten any better.  
|Heero! Come quickly, Trowa's found something!|  
Quatre, was the most worried about Heero, he could feel that Heero was just loosing it. For many nights now, he had heard the young boy cry himself to sleep, as he though of Duo, not being there, beside him.   
Heero, came quietly down the stairs.  
|Ok, Heero, this might not be the thing you want to see right now, but we all found it the other day, and we think you should see it|  
|What is it?|  
|It's....From Duo....|  
|From, Duo? But he's-|  
|Yes, I know heero, but still, I-|  
Quatre was cut off by the sight of tears running down the boys cheeks, in a long steady stream.  
|I think, we'd better leave him now, Quatre|  
*But I, I know I should stay....He might do something we'll all regret...*  
Trowa and Wufei, led Quatre away, silently. Heero, looked at the small but heavy black box, that was on the floor. He paused for a moment, then beant down, and put it on the table.  
*Duo....*  
The boy opened the box, and found some of Duos most prized possessions. His Shampoo, a hair tie, a birthday card from Heero..A Ricky Martin CD *Man, he loved those old CDs...* And, a letter, he looked at it, on the front it said "Heero". He opened it up and read it.  
'Hey Heero, If you're reading this, I guess i'm....Ya know, gone. But hey, I guess you're not really missing this stupid baka anyway, huh? I guess you're wondering why i did it? Well, I know we've had some good times together, you honestly made me the most happy guy on earth, during our short time together, and I just wanted to let you know that..I'm sorry, if I made you suffer, by being so selfish as I have been. But please, don't punish yourself for what i've done, becuse really, it wasn't your fault, if it wasn't for you, I don't know if i'd even have lasted as long as I did.But you have to understand, I HAD to do it,I was gonna die sooner or later anyway, and i'm sure you wouldn't have wanted me to suffer any longer than I already have, I didn't tell you, but in the last few weeks, the pain had been getting worse, a lot worse,I couldn't stand it any longer.. I just didn't want to upset you.I didn't want you to see me like that, I didn't want to hurt you..So I had to do it. I'm sorry heero. I'm grateful, for everything you, and the others all did for me, to make me comfortable during my last few months.I love you, Heero, I always have, and I always will, goodbye..'  
Heero, curled up on the floor, clutching the piece of paper, from his loved one.  
*Duo, you baka...Why didn't you tell me, why'd you have to go and do that..I love you , couldn't you see that i just wanted to be with you, till the very end?*  
A stream of tears fell past the boys cheeks, and onto the cold floor. The others just stood there, watching the boy, curled up, tears running down his face, they couldn't beleive it, that Heero, the perfect soldier had become this weak, little boy pne again.  
|Duo!!!!|  
The scream the boy had made, was a horrific one, a mixture of hate, pain, love,angst and torment. Quatre couldn't stand any more, he ran up to Heero, and held him in his arms.  
|It'll be okay Heero...I promise, you'll get over it, the pain WILL go, I promise...|  
Heero couldn't take it any more, he got up and ran, he didn't know where he was going, but he just ran out of the safe house, and kept on running, running. It seemed like hours had passed, but he kept on running, still clutching on to the letter, he thought of Duo again.  
*Duo, i know you got that disease while fighting on the colony, but...Why did you have to go? I'm just being selfish, aren't I, Duo? I know you just would have suffered even more if you didn't do it. But the least you could have done was tell me, do you know hoe much pain i'm going through? Knowing that I'll never see you again? Ai.. Shiteru, Duo...*  
He started wlaking,slowly... he just had to get away from the others.  
As he walked, he thought about the first time he met Duo, *the stupid baka shot me.....* He smirked, *then he saved me..Man, we had some good times, didn't we, Duo?* He thought about , the first time they kissed....The first time they....*Well, i'll not go into that, eh Duo?* It'd been so good, each time better than the last, now he found he was crying again, |Awww... Duo, why did you have to kill yourself!| Before he knew it, he found himself at the cliff again...Where he saw his beloved make the ultimate sacrafice...Well, it wasn't really a sacrifice, he just didn't want both of them to suffer any more..  
  
++|Duo, no! Don't do it!|  
|I have to Heero, it's the only way you'll be happy!|  
|What do you mean? I am happy|  
|You're not, Heero, you'll never be, if I'm still here, like this, you've spent all your time, these past few months, looking after me, doing anything you could to make me comfortable, and never once, thought about yourself, well I can't see you like this any more, Heero,I love you to much.......|  
|Duo! I love you too...Please, just let's talk about it, I need you, I can't live without you, please Duo, listen to me, don't do it!|  
The waves crashed up on the cliff, Heero could see Duo's hair being flung around by the winds.  
|Duo..Please|  
The young braided boy could see the look of pain in his lovers eyes, he could feel his own tears, dropping onto the sandy cliff.  
|Heero..I.. I can't do this to you any more! I can't let you waste your life on me, anymore.. I'm sorry|  
|Duo! Noooooo!|  
Heero, fell to the floor, he couldn't believe it, he was gone, his best friend, his lover...Was gone. He then raced to the cliff edge, he bent down, and saw his broken body, on the rough rocks below. He could just manage to see the blood surrounding his partners body.Just then, Duo raised his hand, and smiled, just before the braided boy's hand fell onto the rocks again, he heard him say, softly |Ai Shiteru....Heero....|  
Heero, raced down to the rocks below, he held the broken boy in his arms, tears running down his face... *Duo...Why?*  
The young boy, cried all night, with his lover, clutched in his arms. ++  
  
Heero thrusted his head into his hands  
*Why? Why do I have to suffer like this? Why did Duo do this to me? Why? Why!?*  
|Heero!|  
*huh?*  
Trowa had found Heero, on the cliff, hunched over like he was dieing.  
|He's over here!|  
|We thought we'd find you here Heero...Are you...Ok??|  
Heero stood up and turned around.  
|I'm fine, thank you..|  
|We were all so worried about you after you took off like that|  
Wufei stared at the crumpled piece of paper, the boy had dropped.Just then, Heero picked up the paper, held it close to his heart, and walked away.  
|Were are you going, Heero?|  
|To find my heart...|  
Quatre began to run after him, but Trowa stopped him  
|Leave him Quatre, he needs to be on him own|  
He then nuzzled his own lover, and they walked back to the safe house.  
~~~~~~  
Okies, so I dun own Gundam Wing, or any off the characters in this fan-fic, so dun sue me, all you'll get is a couple of sweets and a fluffy toy..... This was my very first story, so it's really pants, I know. Anywayz if you have any comments, e-mail me at cuteflea@another.com Oh yeah, I'll be working on part 2 soon! ja ne!  
~Janorrel Chan 


End file.
